Thursday, December 23, 2010

I'm jealous

I'm jealous of those who have a best friend. Don't get me wrong, Michael is my absolute best friend and I am very thankful for him. I couldn't be the parent I am without him. I'm jealous of those that have a best friend other than your significant other. Sure I have a few close friends who I can talk to, but one has enough going on right now that she doesn't want to hear me whine about not getting the chance to just cuddle with my husband without a toddler coming in crawling in between us.

My sister is not a good source of support in anything related to marriage or parenting. My aunt has enough on her plate with having to parent her 30-year-old going on 15-year-old daughter and raising her 2 kids and mentally and emotionally preparing for another grand baby she will end up raising.

I'm jealous of those who have a friend they can text about their potty training 2-year-old who pulls off a poopy pull-up and then run around the house with a dirty bum, or just wrote on your couch for the 5th time with marker that's not going to come out. I'm jealous of those who have a friend who will text you similar stories letting you know you aren't alone.

I'm jealous of those who have a friend who they can cry to about being a terrible mom after coming to the probable conclusion that all those little fevers were probably indicating ear infections that you blew off as nothing and now it seems like the reason she isn't speaking well is because she is probably hearing everything muffled and now we have to build up a case to probably get tubes in her ears. I'm jealous that I don't have someone who can share stories about how they feel that they have failed somewhere in the parenting department.

I know, I know, I need to put my big girl panties on and just deal with it. With Michael working through yet another holiday and finding out last night that he actually had time off because of requesting it off last year, having a relationship that I'm very close to going through a huge blow, and having a few people that I need to tell to grow up and quit thinking about only themselves, because no one else want to it, I just long for someone not involved in any or all of it to talk to. Having a sassy 4-year-old who has decided that it's ok to tell me things like, "you can't tell me no," and "I'm getting tired of you," are just icing to the sour cake.

At least I almost always get smiles from this little blessing.

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1 comment:

  1. I can totally understand how you would feel this way. I am abundantly blessed because I can talk to my sister but I would be lost without her. You are right, we women (but moms especially) really need someone to whom we can vent a bit, someone who can relate to what we are going through. It is a really hard job sometimes (much of the time:) and we really need the different kind of support a best girl friend provides. I totally get that and I will be praying for you and you can call me or email me any time, although I'm not a texter, which clearly puts me in a different generation, even though I do have young kids:).

    I'm glad I got to see you and the babes. You have such beautiful girls. Glad you made it back alright and didn't get a ticket.

    Love you girlie!